55: Approximate weight of a sheet of 1/2″ x 4′ x 8′ drywall, in pounds.

9: Height in feet of our kitchen ceiling

639: Approximate number of muscles in the human body

600: Approximate number of those muscles that will hurt the next day if you spend a lot of time lifting 1/2″ x 4′ x 8′ sheets of drywall up to the ceiling, balancing with varying degrees of precariousness on ladders and the corners of tables, and holding the drywall sheets up there while they’re screwed down. This includes the muscles between your ribs (the ones that make it hurt when you breath), the muscles in your instep, the full pectoral suite, the full gluteal suite, and more. Many more.

39: Approximate number of muscles in your face. I am happy to report that you can drywall without pulling these.*

*Assuming your marriage is good, that is. I suppose if you spend the day frowning and hollering at your spouse while also holding sheets of drywall over your head, you may be risking your facial muscles too. And then how will you call your RMT, hmm?

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