M: Can I have your nail polish? I want to paint my fingernails.
Me: No, hon, that’s not really appropriate for a five-year-old. Maybe when you’re a teenager.
M: But why does my friend T get to wear nail polish even back in kindergarten?
Me: Because T’s mom is nicer than I am.
M: You’re prettier than T’s mom, but she’s nicer. It’s not fair!
Me: Can’t win ’em all, I guess.
—
M: Here’s a sticker for you mummy, and one for you, daddy. Good thing I had two stickers exactly the same so you won’t have to fight over which one is prettier!
Us: ….