I don’t play WoW (Civilization’s always been my timesucking computer game). But Lore does:
World of Warcraft‘s developers have mastered the unholy art of in-game bribery. They have discovered that players will do any number of stupid, tedious things in order to earn perks that have no effect on the game.
Just this week I’ve been fighting in battlegrounds — special areas where armies clash and 12-year-olds question each other’s sexuality — over and over just for a chance to win a tiny little flying dragon. This dragon doesn’t fight on my behalf or give me powers or anything. He just follows me around. In real life I try to avoid being tailed by parasitic flying creatures, but in the game I seek it out, even though I hate battlegrounds.
And really, what does my little dragon tell the other people in the game? The same thing it tells you — I spent too much time playing Warcraft.
This isn’t so bad, mostly because the other players spend too much time playing Warcraft as well. The zhevra mount, however, tells people: “Not only do I spend too much time playing Warcraft, I hassle those with enough wisdom to avoid it.” It’s sort of like helping out a drug baron, except at least drug mules generally get some cash out of the deal. This is as if someone said: “Hey, if you board a plane with this condom full of cocaine stashed someplace unmentionable, I’ll give you a stylish cravat.”